If it ain’t Dutch, it ain’t much

This weird, wonderful place called the Netherlands–picturesque canals next to inappropriate modern art. Cute cafes next to brothels and tourists too high because they ate a second pot brownie when they thought the first one wasn’t kicking in (rookie mistake).

Ah, yes, those picturesque canals I was talking about
Then there was this. That’s supposedly a Christmas tree. (It’s not a Christmas tree.)

I tried to think of a coherent theme for my time in Rotterdam and Amsterdam. Bruges was easy–I am a big fan of In Bruges and it really is a fairytale fucking city. But try as I might, the Netherlands was more elusive for me. I flitted between beautiful art nouveau transom windows and garish public art installations, centuries-old row houses and modern buildings, trying to find some concrete conclusion to draw.

I was obsessed
Beautiful curvature, very Gaudí
Part of the Amsterdam Light Festival
The Night Watch statues in Rembrandtplein
A mysterious floating tree along the canal in Rotterdam
These are… snakes? Worms? Really long turds?
Rotterdam on an early winter morning

The beautiful and classical…
…and The X Files



You’ll be in a museum full of old Dutch masters then–Surprise! This glass box holding a bed with two mannequins is in the gallery with you. (Not weird at all.) That’s the thing about the Netherlands–it’s cute and old-fashioned, but modern and unexpected at the same time. A place where cafes and coffee shops are not the same thing. Where you can smoke as much weed as you want, then conveniently binge-buy 10 kilos of waffles or cheese or whatever at the next shop.

I actually can’t recommend going to a cheese tasting enough, unless maybe you’re lactose intolerant

It’s like a captivating painting, weird, maybe somewhat disturbing, yet drawing you in. Hooking you so you’re unable to release yourself from its grasp.

Or maybe I’m just being a bit dramatic.

Yo dawg, I heard you like paintings…


13 Replies to “If it ain’t Dutch, it ain’t much”

  1. Great pictures! Some things are pretty strange! Like that bed with the mannequins, and the colorful sitting worm things lol but there’s beauty in everything! and I guess it’s part of what make the Netherlands so unique! Hoping I can get there one day! Thank you for sharing! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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