- All the English music is at least 20 years old. The most recent song the band played was “La Vida Loca”. I KNOW. And the rest of the music? It’s is disco polo. What is disco polo, you ask? This is disco polo:
- There is TONS of food. They just keep bringing out course after course, even when no one is interested in eating any more. There is also an open kiełbasa bar at all times, with at least 10 varieties of sausages and a giant ham, in case you get a pork craving, God forbid, and the meat on the table isn’t enough.
- You know in a movie where they are filming a large group dancing and there’s clearly no music playing at the time of filming because everyone is off beat? That’s what Polish people look like when they dance.
- Polish people love their vodka. Everyone is drunk, and everyone stays up until 5 am. Even the old people. As someone whose mother complains if she has to stay awake past 10 pm, this is mind-blowing.
- Even if their English isn’t very good, everyone there will do their damned best to understand you when you speak English, and will be very considerate and not laugh at your drunk toddler Polish.
- The bride, who has never met you before and only speaks stilted English, might see you and remember that you are that American who came to her wedding and insist you drink some of the Polish moonshine vodka with her, which you do, because it’s her wedding and she’s the boss.